At my church there is a big sign in the lobby that says "a family for everyone" and I roll my eyes every time. They are good people and honestly mean it when they try to include everyone, but even the most dedicated outreach will miss someone who is drowning right under their noses.
Some time ago a friend reposted this picture of a lion chasing a zebra colt with the caption "when people say they don't need the church." The implication is that we are safer in the herd of the church family where we are safely protected by our close association of our close relationships with our brothers and sisters in Christ.
There is a problem with this metaphor, zebras don't have families. They don't give a damn if that poor zebra colt gets eaten. They only associate into herds because the odds of being attacked drop dramatically with large numbers of other targets in close proximity. In this picture there are a dozen zebras looking at the child about to be eaten and they are passively looking on with an expression of "glad that's not me".
What that caption is assuming is that zebra are like horses. Horses have a tight knit family that will fight for each other. If there had been a foal in danger from a lion, the stallion would be charging, the mares would be guarding the other foals, and the lion would be the one running for its life. If one of their herd is injured, they will surround and guard the hurt family member as long as possible until they recover. Lions still get their fair share of horses, but not without the family doing everything possible to protect the lost.
That's where today's church is failing miserably. Today's church is what I like to call "the Sunday morning country club" where all the wonderful popular people go to see and be seen. Meanwhile the hurt and wounded are simply abandoned and left to bleed out on the front steps. Far too many people come looking for some connection and are simply excluded from the cliques that tend to form.
The most damning example of this in my life is the way our church forgot about my children. My older kids have all quit attending because they felt ignored and excluded. No one at the church even noticed or cared that three orphan kids just disappeared. James 1:27 specifically commands the church to minister to widows and orphans, but today's church seems to deliberately exclude single parents and their kids.
Of course many people have had a good experience and have found a community in the local church. I'm genuinely happy that so many have had a very different experience at church than I did. Some have been welcomed with open arms and I'm glad they were. However, it hasn't been that way for me and my family.
