Boxes

I know that many people take a great deal of time after their loved one's passing before they start dealing with the leftover possessions, but that's not my style.  I hate having a cluttered messy house and I started tackling this process not long after the funeral.  It actually began on the drive home when Clint called me and asked me what we were going to do with Sarah's stuff.  I told him that we would save some special items, store some items that Laura could grow into, give away some things that others can use, and finally we would throw some away.  This is exactly what we are doing.

I set aside one bin for sentimental items that I wanted to keep even though they had little practical value.  Sarah's lab coat, park ranger hat, caving helmet, and sheepskin coat that I bought her in 99 all went into the keepsake tub.  Laura is only 2 sizes away from wearing Sarah's shoes, so those went into a separate tub that she can open in a few years.  I set aside any dresses, skirts, or blouses that Laura may want to try on when she gets older.  I gave all the jeans, and some other clothes to Goodwill, since I know that no two jeans fit no two women the same.  I tossed some things in the trash that even Goodwill won't even take.  I'm sure that Laura will choose to pass on most of these items when the time comes, but it just doesn't feel right to toss out everything right now.

I also went through Sarah's sewing table and found a memory quilt that she had started for Laura that was made out of old T shirts.  I gave this to Mari to finish for us and will give it to Laura at Christmas time.  I also came across a lot of items, photos, and scrapbooks that brought back many memories.  I found the slideshow that our parents set up for our wedding, the video of Sarah's skydive, and a few journals that Sarah made entries in.  

On one hand, it is refreshing to clean out a lot of the clutter, and also joyful to find the mementos that remind me of our time together, but it is also saddening to see the physical representation of the void that Sarah has left in our lives.